Pagi-pagi udah bete...

Geez...so much for ruining my day..!

Amy YM me this morning, and she said she was at home, and we chatted and she said..'Mei, I havent received your present, and my omiyage from Netta!' Wtf?? I mean, c'mon, its been, almost 2 months since Netta received that from Anny..!

At first I asked Amy, ' Really, have u tried to call her, or sms her?', she said, 'yes, but she never answers the phone nor does she answer the sms'..So, Amy was just left alone in the dark, not knowing what happened to her presents..

But what made me got bete was....Amy asked me to find a Neko Basu--the character from our favorite film 'Totoro'--she really loves it, and its very expensive in Jakarta...so, at that time I went to several toy stores in Tokyo to find her Neko Basu...I mean, its Amy, and shes my bestfriend, of course I will look for something she likes, hence she especially requested it from me...

I got that Neko Basu, and it cost around 3000 yen something, so, to make it easy I just said to Amy its 240 thousand rupiah...And what made me felt worse this morning was...she has paid it to Anny, on time, and Anny has given it to my mom....(as I've told her to)! And it was already a long time ago....

That is why, I got so so angry with Netta, and felt sorry for Amy, I mean...c'mon, is it so hard for you to answer in one single short phone conversation?? Or, is it so hard for you to just jot few words on your keypad to send sms (the simple thing that u can do almost anytime, even when you sit down on your toilet, trying to do ur number 2..I often do that)

So, I YM-ed Netta and I asked her to give Amy the gift ASAP, well, my message is a little bit harsh I think, but I was so angry with her...I mean, its not the first time she did something like this...and if she really cares for her friend, she wont behave this way...If she's like this, well, I can assume that, she ACTS AS IF SHE CARES, while in fact, shes not..

I dont have to mention how many times she has dissapointed me...in many occasions, I still can stand it then, and I consider its just a plain, forgivable thing that can easily forgotten...but now, I think I've had enough..

Well, she sent me an email though, saying that she's absolutely busy...yeah rite...I mean, I WANT TO BELIEVE HER....really....but I CANT...I lost my trust on her...If you can say you are absolutely busy, then, how come you still could updated your Facebook (a Friendster kind of thing) for the whole day, still could go somewhere to eat, still did something you like, but couldnt call your friend and tell her sorry that she doesnt have that much time to give it to her? I am sure her friend will understand...

One more thing, I'VE NEVER SAID I AM ABSOLUTELY BUSY..as I recalled...yeah, sometimes I say I am really busy...hmm...maybe an absolute busy is...as for me...during the visit of the President of RI to Japan, yeah...but then again, oh well, its only for, 3 or 4 days maybe?

Well, anyway, still my feeling towards her is not as I used to have before...mind you, I dont feel that 'closeness' again, as I feel to my other friends...even though we rarely meet, let alone chat, or talk on the phone (so damn expensive from here to Jakarta!)..However, with my other friends, I still can relate myself...I still feel an ease...I still...KNOW them...

I dont know...I hope my feeling will soon change...I dont want to feel this way...I have experienced like this before with Pema, but as for Pema, she always cares for me, I can sense that....Eventhough at that time I was being such a pain in the ass (I hate her bf-now-husband), she didnt change, of course at that time she's so head over heels fallin for him, but she didnt forget us, I and other friends, she spared her time here and there...I know its tiring, and I know its not easy to hear all the judgements and all the critics for her bf, but she's there....she laughed with us...she enjoyed our companion (and of course, she left early for him), she's always be there for us...that is why I and Pema cried so much like a children lose their toys, during our farewell bid (on the phone, mind you! coz at that time I was absolutely busy, yes, I think its appropriate to use 'absolutely' since on that days after graduation I went crazy here and there, took care of everything up to find a real buyer for our car!)

So, at first I thought Pema and Netta is similar, but, then again, they're totally different...I must say...

I do hope my feeling will be healed soon...